Haven't seen this much bull since I left the farm

It's one thing to suck and be full of shit, but it's a whole new level of ignorant to contradict your original line of bullshit. Case in point, Avril Lavigne. When she arrived on the scene her schtick was how angry she was and of course how 'real' that made her. I believe she's from the mean street (that's not a typo, they have only one street) of Napanee, Ontario.

A friend of mine recently pointed out her new miserable song to me as a joke. I found it funny on two levels; the song itself sounds like something you would hear on a TV show intended for infants to 3 year olds. However, what really got me about this piece of shit is that her former bad-ass and anti-establishment attitude has been neatly tucked away to make room for her new choreographed dancing, bubble gum chewing pop song. Her record company has done an excellent job of putting a profane word in the lyric to keep her core audience in tact. You'll note the word 'motherfucking' is used for effect. They even managed an ode to Led Zeppelin in the lyrics; where as Robert Plant can be heard singing "Hey hey, what can I do?" when singing about the hurt he feels for the woman he loves Avril sings "Hey! Hey! You! You!" when attempting to get the attention of the listener. Beautiful.

Here's the latest piece of trash that goes one step further to proving my theory that the apocalypse is near...Avril Lavigne's new single.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oq9okE0XZuo

Lookin' for love in all the wrong places...

I have not blogged for some time....I've been busy....that's my explaination.

Recently a friend of mine recieved a very patronizing email froma young man who she felt she lead on. The male in question felt the need to email her an apology for something she didn't really care about one way or the other. His Christian beliefs were the primary motivation for ending something that hadn't even begun. My friend is far too nice to have emailed back a reply putting him in his place as she has more class than that. Personally, I saw this as an opportune time to write another blog. I also lack class. This evening I took the liberty of writing an email reply on her behalf to our silly Christian/hopeless romantic/douchebag.

Original email:

Hey _______


So I guess you know that I have been having second thoughts about where we were going and I don't think it should move forward any more than it already has. I don't really want to explain why in this e-mail other then to say that my beliefs are really important for me there is more depth to it then just that I can explain if you want just not now. As much as I don't like it this way I have to. However I more want to try and explain why I took this road I did and made some of the desisions I made.

I was trying to convince myself that I could make it work but I can't its not right. Its hard though because I do like you and have feelings for you. I also think that we should have spent more time just being friends and nothing more. However I just get excited when I think about the idea of having a relationship with
someone. I know that no excuse but thats that truth in it.

Im pretty upset with myself because I have hurt you and have ruined what could have been a great friendship. Your fun to hang out with and seem to like some of the same things. I hopethis makes sense to you.

I do feel bad abou everything and I know I shouldn't have done some of the things I have done. I also realize that you may have open your self up to me and I just took that away and for that I am sorry.

There are more things that I want to say but I just can't think of them right now. I sincerly hope for two things one that you can forgive me for what I have done. Second that we can somehow be friends still. I don't know what else to say. Im just sorry.

Talk to you soon.

Douche


My reply:


There are two drafts...

Douche,

I'm sorry that you were having thoughts about us going somewhere. Truth is, we weren't and for that I am deeply sorry. Until now I never realized how lonely you were to think that the few nights we spent together had any real deep meaning outside of the physical aspects. I understand if you don't want to explain, it would probably just confuse me more as to what exactly is going on in that head of yours.

It would mean a great deal to me if you didn't beat yourself up so much over "hurting me". You didn't. If anything your email is a breath of fresh air for the guilt I carried around for a few days when I began to think you were stalking me and it was all my fault. Also, I'm sorry that we don't share the same feeling of excitement about a relationship. Nothing personal, but I've been seriously considering lesbianism for some time now and thanks to you I may be closer to a decision.

Please take good care of yourself and try not to spend anytime on whatever else you hoped to say in a follow up email. It's not that I don't care, it's just that it won't affect my life if in any way shape or form.

Regards,
Friend of Chris

Draft 2:

Douche,

You're a total douche.

Sincerely
Friend of Chris

Belgians...big, or biggest morons on earth?

This will no doubt be the nerdiest post I've done. Normally I don't let silly internet related things bother me, but this one gives me a chance to lump an entire nation into one category based on the idiocy of one.

Several months ago I was unfortunate enough to see a douchebag by the name of Rocco DeLuca open for Robert Randolph and the Family band in Toronto. Randolph and co. displayed talent, versatility, dynamics, charisma and maturity throughout their entire set. DeLuca couldn't get any of the above mentioned together for the duration of his half hour set. Upon my return home that night I was in such shock of how bad he was that I felt the need to check him out on youtube thinking maybe I just caught him on a really, really, really, really, really, really bad night. Nope, he's just that bad. So after viewing a few videos of him on youtube I left a comment about what a clown he is on one of the sites. Again, this is not something I would normally do, but Rocco earned my criticism.

Shortly thereafter I received several replies from both fans as well as some hate mail from the person who posted the video in the first place, telling me to stay away from his site. Last time I checked Youtube was owned by a Google. The point I'm trying to make is that when someone really doesn't have a valid argument for anything, they'll make personal attacks out of weakness or insecurity. This crazy foreigner viewed the two videos I have posted on youtube of my band playing. Funny enough, he said nothing bad about the music (1 point for me). Secondly by comparing me, an unsigned artist to someone with major label and touring support, he has brought his hero down another peg (another point for me and one additional point for fellow indie musicians). He makes a third mistake of assuming all Canadians know one another and that Kiefer Sutherland (who owns the label which DeLuca is signed) is going to hear about what I said and be upset about it. Again he's given me a status of importance I didn't even know I had! That brings me up to 3 points versus the 34 year old who no doubt has far too much time on his hands to defend an arist who; 1) Sucks 2) Doesn't care about him or myself 3) Will soon be forgotten. Last but not least, his english is poor. Here's the email:

MoodyVal | February 14, 2007

Oh wow, your vids have been viewed 100+ times since you've posted them. I wonder how a CLOWN like Rocco DeLuca can have his viewed over 1600 times in a few months only if he's so full of shit.

I'm not gonna ask you again, stay the hell off my account if the only thing you can do is spew insults at a band I - and loads of people with me - like very much.

Choke on your own music and your fellow Canadians, I'm sure Kiefer Sutherland (who just so happens to be a Canadian himself) will absolutely love to hear how his countrymen bash an artist he believes in.


He even had the stones to send me that angry message on Valentines day! That Belgian son of a bitch! Stick to making chocolate and whatever else it is you people do.

Beautiful...just fucking beautiful

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0UJaprpxrk

Pure. West.


By the way, I'm sure the Barracuda, Whale, or Manta Ray repellents would have worked just as well.

I wanna be like Ike

The world is full of injustice, here are a few examples that particularly bother me...

To the majority of the public, Ike Turner will forever be known only as the guy who beat up Tina Turner.

Females pay less for auto insurance than males.

A farmer can build one fence and nobody calls him a carpenter....he can fix one car but nobody calls him a mechanic.......he fucks ONE sheep and suddenly he's a sheep fucker!

Jeff Buckley is dead.

I make a fat girl joke, I'm an asshole...a fat girl makes a skinny joke towards me...no consequence.

The only people who can afford cool vintage instruments are not working musicians.

A pedophile will serve less time in prison than most drug dealers.

Kevin Federline is a millionaire.

Now here are several other examples of injustice that I have no problem with...

Women are held to a much higher standard of looks than men.

As men age they become distinguished, as women get older they turn into hags.

If you're doing something artistic and fuck up, someone will find something artistic about it...even though you just fucked up.

Canada has free healthcare and our strippers are allowed to get completely naked.

Those crazy messed up things that you do

Tonight I was about to leave the place I was hanging out when a girl that had been hanging around myself and the friends I was out with that night stopped me and asked me "Why are you so lonely?". It kinda stuck with me on the drive home because I hadn't spoke more than 5 words to her throughout the course of the night and wondered what made her say something like that.

Fast forward an hour and I'm at home, online and watching a video from the Hamilton Music Awards where they paid tribute to my friend who recently passed away, Mark Severn. It really touched me to realize how lucky I was to have a friend like that. He was one of the most unique people anyone could have ever met. Most of the night was spent telling Mark stories with two of my other friends who introduced me to him in the first place. It was a good time.

It began to dawn on me that a good friend is a very hard thing to come by and are the most irreplaceable things someone can have. Recently I've lost several friends...I know where they are but for some silly reason or another, we don't speak anymore. At first I started thinking that it was my fault and spent some considerable time trying to figure out what I could say or do that would make them come back. As time went on I started to realize there was nothing. In the midst of the depression I was brought back to my usual positive self when my phone rang. It was 2:45am. One of my close friends called me to see what was up. That's all. That's all it took to realize that for all the friends I think I may have lost, that one good friend is really all you need. Then I started thinking how lucky I was that I have more than one person like that in my life.

This blog is for all my friends.

When it's cold I'd like to die

Salmuera.














La mitad de un salmuera.















Ninguna salmuera.














DEB que oculta detrás de los pantalones blancos.















Pare el mirar de mis toallas usted híbrido.














Mi cara se ha velado en luz.